


Eau de Vie(ux schnock)

by gwyllgi



Series: A Dash of Bitters [2]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: M/M, Poor Evfra, ridiculous euphemisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 08:48:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15837855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwyllgi/pseuds/gwyllgi
Summary: Evfra's not entirely certain that Scott's not speaking nonsense."Evfra, I need another word for 'cock'."





	Eau de Vie(ux schnock)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sorrowfulcheese](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorrowfulcheese/gifts).



"Evfra, I need another word for 'cock'."

Evfra slowly lowered the datapad he'd been reading and turned to look at Scott, who was in turn watching him expectantly, fingers hovering over the datapad propped against his thighs. "I don't believe I heard you correctly."

Scott tilted his head slightly, his bright hair sliding over one bare shoulder as he squinted slightly at Evfra as though not certain if he was being serious. "Another word for 'cock'."

"Ah," Evfra said, more to buy himself time than anything. He considered for a long moment, then hazarded, "You mean penis."

Scott's lips thinned—a sure sign that he was fighting laughter that he thought might offend Evfra, though a useless battle given that Evfra was learning his tells. "Yeah. What else do you call it?"

Suspicious, Evfra dragged himself upright from his comfortable slouch against the wall the bed abutted and twisted to stare at Scott. "What else should it be called?"

"Oh, you know." Scott waved his hand as though encompassing everything that Evfra did not, in fact, know. "Slang. Don't you ever want to talk dirty? 'Oh, Scott, I would like to put my proportionally-sized erection into one of your orifices'?"

If angara blushed, Evfra's face would have been flaming. As it was, he settled for scowling. "Why do you want to know how angara refer to genitalia?" he demanded.

Scott turned an innocent look on him that Evfra didn't trust for a heartbeat. "Just something I was discussing with Sara."

Ah, that explained much. Separate, the Ryder twins were capable adults, but when they were combined, they morphed into ridiculous children. "Why does Sara care about angaran slang for genitalia?"

"She doesn't," Scott said, turning his attention back to the datapad. "Which is why it's fun." He chewed absently on his bottom lip, a flash of teeth that Evfra found his gaze helplessly drawn to, so distracted by it that he nearly missed Scott's next words. "Please don't tell me that you're all hopelessly literal about sex, too."

Evfra frowned and set his datapad aside, folding his arms across his chest. "Why shouldn't we be? What does it matter what you call it?"

Scott blinked, looked at Evfra through his lashes, then powered down his datapad and set it on the small stand next to the bed—his own addition, one he'd insisted upon after the first few nights he'd spent at Evfra's admittedly sparsely-furnished home. "You've never had someone talk dirty to you before, have you?" he purred, slinging a leg over Evfra's before pulling himself up to straddle his thighs. Scott's penis (cock?) was already firming, a hot brand on Evfra's belly as Scott leaned against him. "Well, Evfra—" his name was still spoken like a forbidden spell, whispered in the dark "—there's a first time for everything."

"I'm not interested in—" Evfra began in a huff, only to be cut off by the skim of Scott's finger over his lower lip. "I don't—" he tried again, but was distracted when the tip of Scott's finger slipped into his mouth.

"Shh," Scott urged with a smile that should've been illegal. "Let's see what Captain Winky thinks instead."

Evfra bit at Scott's finger, frowning when Scott hastily withdrew it. "Who is Captain Winky and why should I care what they think?"

Scott chuckled, leaning in to brush his lips over the downturned corner of Evfra's mouth. His hand found the base of Evfra's ribs, sliding lower until they were tapping over the edge of Evfra's sheath. "Captain Winky's shy, but he's always got one eye open. Sometimes he needs a little coaxing." Scott's mouth found the corner of Evfra's jaw, lips brushing against Evfra's skin as he continued, "Should we see if he'll come out to play?"

What in the stars was Scott talking about? "I'd rather not," he began, only to cut off with a sharp inhale when Scott nipped the spot sensitized by the brush of his lips.

"You'll scare him off if you argue," Scott chided, then blinked and looked down at where his fingers still stroked. A slow smile spread across his face as the tip of Evfra's penis (cock) nudged out, and he twisted his hand to rub his thumb over the emerging flesh. "Awh, there he is now."

Evfra struggled to ignore the sensation, the tremors of pleasure that had blood rushing to his groin. "You've named my penis Captain Winky," he said flatly, pleased when his voice didn't shake.

"Hm, not as such." Scott circled his thumb over the the exposed head and braced his other hand against Evfra's belly. "Most men have a Captain Winky. I just happen to prefer yours." He smiled that slow smile again and released Capta— Evfra's pe— Evfra's _cock_ to grab Evfra's hand and tug it toward Scott's hardening shaft. "Of course, I like to think my own joystick isn't terrible, either." He curled their fingers together around its base, then squeezed his around Evfra's as he guided it in a lazy stroke to the head. "Shall we play a game?"

Evfra wasn't entirely certain that Scott wasn't speaking pure nonsense, but it wasn't enough to deter him from enjoying the feel of Scott's heated skin against his palm, the way it fit so well into the curve of his hand. Ignoring Scott's teasing, he ran his hand down, up, down, and up again, unable to help admiring the way Scott's skin slipped against his fingers. ( _Foreskin_ , he reminded himself, the clear recollection of Scott's tutelage in that particular portion of human anatomy making him swallow.)

Scott's hips rolled into his fist once before he tensed, his hand moving to Evfra's wrist to still him. "Easy there. It's no fun if the one-gun salute goes off early." He squirmed free and slipped to a side, his hand returning to tease at the edge of Evfra's sheath. "You really do have an impressive meat missile," he purred as his thumb slipped through the fluid already slicking Evfra's cock. "I'm already looking forward to it spearing my chocolate starfish."

Definitely pure nonsense, but Evfra didn't much care about Scott's words as the stimulation of the rough pads of his fingers drew Evfra to full extension. He reached for Scott's hair and tangled his fingers in it at the back of Scott's head, tugging lightly—something he'd quickly learned that Scott enjoyed. The lesson was reinforced when Scott's eyelashes flickered and drooped as Scott leaned his head into the touch, his own hand falling still. He looked entirely too vulnerable, throat exposed as Evfra tugged his hair back, and everything in Evfra throbbed almost painfully at the realization of just how much he lov— relished seeing Scott like that.

Scott's eyes opened to meet his before anxiety could set in, his gaze as dreamy as his smile. "Keep that up. I want to feel you pulling my hair while I play your skin flute."

"My what?" Evfra asked automatically, if to no avail; Scott was preoccupied with the kisses he was pressing to the base of Evfra's ribs, the muscles that defined his belly, the crease where torso gave way to thigh. Evfra braced his free hand behind him to push himself farther upright, the better to fulfill Scott's hair-pulling fantasy, just as Scott's lips, slightly pursed, skimmed over the tip of his pe— cock, then followed its curve down the length of the shaft.

Evfra's hand clenched in Scott's hair as Scott blew against his flesh, his lips vibrating with the passage of air in a manner that was so decadently indecent that Evfra's entire body tensed. Scott didn't give him a moment to recover as his fingers curved around Evfra's shaft above where his lips pressed, not gripping but instead cradling it against the ball of his hand while his fingertips pressed in seemingly-random patterns. The pressure was never enough, and the unpredictable pattern was maddening, until Evfra finally pulled Scott's hair hard enough to draw his mouth away.

"Too literal?" Scott asked, then closed his fingers fully around Evfra's cock and slid them to the base, holding it steady as he brushed his lips over the tip. "How about we peel the banana instead?"

Evfra's feverish imaginings of the shine of his fluids on Scott's lips was enough to send a fresh pulse of blood to his groin as a groan tore from his throat, echoed faintly by Scott as his lips parted to take Evfra's cock into his mouth. No matter the number of times they'd done this, the number of times they would do this, that first slide into Scott's mouth still felt like coming home after a long journey.

Scott never bothered with being careful with his teeth, and the slight scrape of them against his skin as Scott took him into his throat had Evfra's hips bucking. Scott inhaled sharply through his nose, pulling back slightly and pressing an arm across Evfra's thighs, then leaned heavily on it as he swallowed Evfra's cock again.

The growl that rose in Evfra's throat was well beyond his control. He plunged his free hand into Scott's hair, filtering shakily through the strands before it fisted with the other. It was tempting—and it would be easy—to simply hold his head and fuck his mouth, but the drag of Scott's firm tongue was addictive, something that Evfra was loath to lose. Instead, he simply held on as Scott bobbed on his cock, swallowing around the head as he took it in, playing lips and teeth and tongue over the tip after he'd all but released him.

"Enough," Evfra rasped, pulling at Scott's hair again until that bright head lifted, then letting go to instead hook his hands under Scott's arms, hauling him bodily up until they were face-to-face again, Scott sprawled awkwardly over Evfra as Evfra smirked at the surprise marking his face. "I wish to try something different."

Scott strained toward him, seeking a kiss, but Evfra held him away. Hands still under Scott's arms, he flipped him without preamble, then wrapped both arms around Scott's waist and hauled his back snug against his chest as he squirmed higher on the bed to sit mostly upright with his shoulders braced on the wall. Scott had gone quiescent against him, not so much as squirming though his fingertips roved over Evfra's forearms and hands. Disturbed by his disproportionate reaction to the light touch, Evfra pulled one arm away to instead draw Scott's hair to a side, baring the side of his neck. He wasted no time in laying claim to it with kisses and not-exactly-gentle nips, pleased when Scott's fingers stilled, then wrapped around his wrist.

"What did you have in mind?"

Evfra bit into Scott's soft skin, harder than his earlier nibbles, hard enough to mark him. "You'll see," he promised, then tightened his arm around Scott and shifted his hips so that his swollen cock slipped between Scott's cheeks. A tentative thrust drew a breathless moan from Scott, a sound that Evfra echoed, muffled against Scott's shoulder. "You're a treasure," he murmured there, then dropped his forehead against the bulk of muscle that ran between Scott's shoulder and neck. "My treasure," he added in a whisper.

Scott's response died in his throat as Evfra's hand reached for Scott's balls, cradling the strangely-furry sac in his palm. It fascinated him almost as much as Scott's cock, another notable difference in their anatomy that did nothing to make them incompatible, and he explored the velvety skin as though it was the first time. Scott's hips rolled against Evfra's as he arched into the petting, grumbling to himself when couldn't find the leverage he so obviously sought.

"You're an," Scott began, before his lips slammed shut on a moan as Evfra tugged experimentally on his balls. His head lolled against Evfra's shoulder as he squirmed within Evfra's grasp, white teeth peeking out as he bit his lower lip. Only when Evfra released him and smoothed his fingers up Scott's inner thigh did Scott exhale. "Evil. You're an evil man."

Evfra chuckled, low and dark. "Save your words for your _dirty talk_ , Scott. We've only just begun."

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even remember what spawned the discussion that spawned this, but it involved this euphemism: the purple bunny jumping in and out of his hole until he pukes
> 
> Strangely, that phrase never actually made it into the fic, but I was thinking it the whole time.
> 
> The title is a very bad mish-mash of French terms. I'm sorry for mangling the language with my need for a terrible pun(-ish thing).


End file.
